The Temple of Limecat

The Cat is Back (Almost)

2008-08-05T08:34:57Z

Well, I'm still not home yet.

I left the Port Authority bus terminal at 11:45 AM, and after a crawling pace along the I80, we arrived in Syracuse, where we were delayed for forty minutes (for seemingly no reason). The bus finally arrived in Buffalo at 8:00 PM. There, we switched drivers, but the replacement was an hour late. We ended up leaving the Buffalo Bus Terminal at 9:30 PM, and entered the customs lineup soon after. Here was the best part. U.S. and Canada customs both insist on searching every single bus passenger, airport security style. Including the full lineup / interogattion of all 60ish passengers, the x-ray of all the bags, and the manual search of them. Not only that, but there were four other buses ahead of us. Each bus takes about 30 minutes to move through customs. Yup, that's right. At about 12 am (today), the bus was across the border and we were on our way to Toronto. I arrived at the Metro Toronto Greyhound Terminal at about 1:30 am, which means the buses to Newmarket (where I live) are no longer running. My seating mate is also in a similar position, and she is right here next to me. I guess I get to sleep in a bus station, yay!

Anyway, New York City was fuckin' awesome. That was the best thing I have done all year. I feel totally emotionally rejuvenated. I must do these types of crazy things more often.

- The BwB Meet-up, of course. It was great to meet ya'll - finally. I had an awesome time on Saturday night. Thanks again to TC, for helping me get "home".

- Going out drinking on Sunday night with a bunch of Portuguese girls I met at Whitehall. I was sitting in the station, and these girls were talking about me in Portuguese. I chuckled to myself for a while (and was more then a little flattered ;) ), before finally speaking up in the same language. They were pretty shocked, and quite embarassed. I insisted on taking them out for drinks. Long-story short, I woke up on Monday morning and was still drunk. I have a nasty hangover at the moment.

- Hanging out in a Chinese Internet Cafe that I'm nearly positive was being run by a Tong. It was exactly like one of those Hong Kong gangster movies. Way weird.

- Walking around town. I moved around the city quite a bit on foot. Lots of cool stuff to see.

- Convo from the train ... Girl on phone "I'm sorry ima late, but I add to ave mya ah-pull-bees."

- Drunken Convo with Naked Cowboy in Time Square
Me: "Are you Kid Rock?"
Cowboy: "Nope. I'm the Naked Cowboy."
Me: "No, i think you are Kid Rock. I'm gonna sell your pictures to the tabloids. The headline? "Rock Hits Rock Bottom"

- Convo in Customs Line-up

Lady: "Sir, you budded me. Go to the back of the lineup."
Man: "No, I am in line here. YOU go to the back."
Lady: "You cut in front of me!!"
Man: "I don't care."
Lady {hissy hit]
Me: "Both of you - silence. We are all on the same bloody bus and have to wait for each other any-fuckin-way. It doesn't matter who goes in first. You are both acting like children and pissing everyone off with your bickering."
Rest of passengers: [applause]

- Not being constantly accosted for money by panhandlers, like in Toronto. For the record, I was asked for money about 30 seconds after stepping off the bus here in Toronto.

Lessons Learned

- Always bring cell-phone charger.

- Don't take the bus to New York. Plan ahead, and take a flight. It's the same price, and the trip is only 1.5 hours.

- Check the back of the bar more often.

- Study the NY Metro map more carefully.

The Dark Knight.

2008-07-20T22:31:21Z

Holy Shit.

Best. Movie. Evar.

Totally gripping. Lots of hawt SWAT Team Tactics. Wicked Hardcore Batman. Terrifying Joker.

Insanely recommended. Go see it. Now.

Here is a video that I found linked in the Batman thread; http://www.cracked.com/video_16489_it-time-batman-tone-it-down.html

Is It Friday?

2008-07-09T23:20:33Z

Is today the day when we push our calenders forward and it becomes Friday? Please, someone tell me that it is. I need the weekend. Right NOW. The last two days have been absurdly warm, and I'm hotter then a hoor on cowboy's payday. I actually fell asleep at lunch (in the Air-conditioned trailer), spoon in hand.

Fiesta!

2008-07-08T02:50:54Z

On Sunday, I went to the annual Italian Fiesta on the Corso Italia. They close off the street, and have live music at the corners, on the balconies and on the roofs. You get to eat tiramisu, cannoli, and pasticciotti until you explode. Wine and cerveja flows freely, and the streets are filled with dancing. The latter being quite popular among the ladies, but I won't kiss and tell. They play a lot of fiesta, folk, and funky Italian hits like this;

That was La Carrà. A Famous Italian Pop Singer. Sorry, no half-naked dudes in tight pink spandex were in attendance. Maybe I'll go in costume next year.

"Yes its good, livin on the farm"

2008-07-04T23:06:31Z

Well it was a mostly unproductive Friday. At least, by my standards. The General Contactor seemed to be pleased with my progress. Strange. Sometimes I forget that the homeowner's resources are endless and schedules don't matter so much. The reason for the non-productivity? A bunch of the summer farm help showed up. Including some young women. Yes, exactly. These lovely young College Farm Girls (this sounds like a porno title, by the way 0_0) made my job very difficult to perform. Oh well. It's too bad that I don't have Rico Suave powers.

My last contract still hasn't paid out. The asshole is also ignoring my calls. I might have to send some bikers over to the GC's house to collect my due.

Canada in the Eurovision?

2008-07-02T16:32:16Z

I motion that Canada should be allowed to enter. Here is our entry;

P.S. I think this gives "My Lovely Horse" a run for it's money.

Music Monday: Summer in the City

2008-07-01T00:45:50Z

So, I've basically spent three days back in Downtown Toronto, rotating between the Portugal Village / Little Italy and Toronto Western Hospital (where my Grandpa is). I've been taking a lot of walks around town, having drinks in cafes and doing random things. Today, I had lunch at an old Italian Cafe, which has been in the neighbourhood for forty years. I had a delicious pannini sandwich, a glass of wine, and a side of fava beans. After, I stopped in at an old favourite bakery, had an espresso and a cannoli ( a Sicilian pastry). Yum!

My Grandfather has been very confused and combative. He doesn't seem to realize who any of us are, and just wants to get up and go. Unfortunately, that is not possible. He had a heart-attack during the night, because he was so stressed out. The poor guy. Luckily, he hasn't lost his spirit. That old fucker is strong as an Ox. Earlier, he almost broke my hand and then knocked out one of the orderlies by punching him in the face. He had to be tied down for a while, but that only pissed him off more. The swearing is even making me blush. My uncle (who is a Paramedic) is pulling some strings, and one of the Nurses on staff has bumped him to the top of the list for a private room. Hopefully, that will calm him down.

He has been talking about a lot of random things. The Doctors say that his psychosis and the loss of sight (which has them baffled) is causing him to hallucinate. My family has been asking about some of the things that he is mentioning, especially in regards to the War, but he asked me never to speak of it. I believe I am the only one he ever talked to about it. Back in High School, we did an assignment where we interviewed a family member, about their wartime experience. His story was quite compelling, albeit horrific. It was quite a challenging project, considering the language barrier. I will keep my promise, though.

I was just called and told he has been moved to a private room. That can only mean he is out of immediate danger. Before, he was in the emergency room, which is Nurse Central. Moving him out of that area means he has stabilized a bit. Huzzah!

In Honor of Carmen Calisti, a fighter for Ninety-Two Years! (and counting)

"Warrior" by Wishbone Ash.

The Worst Year Ever Continues

2008-06-28T00:50:16Z

My ninety-two year old Nono had a stroke today. He has lost vision in both eyes.

Now I feel like even more of an asshole. I can barely speak Italian, and now he can't even see me.

What the fuck. Stupid world. The mailed fist of life strikes again. This knee-busting gauntlet is getting to be too much.

The Summer Diet

2008-06-27T23:04:10Z

I began Monday in the Attic at 178 lbs.

65 hours, 5 days, 750 flights (9 feet) of stairs, and 10 Pounds later, it is Friday.

Who wants to join my diet plan? It's the best kind. You get paid while you sweat it off!

Maybe I'm Amazed? I'm definitely amazed.

2008-06-24T01:25:34Z

Here is an old cover of "Maybe I'm Amazed". This was from the Faces' album Long Player.

Today I started a really out-of-this-world job. I'm not the General Contractor, but I know him and he brought me in on this ginormous job.

The project is basically a complete renovation of a 30,000 square foot home, on a 300 acre ranch, nestled in the Albion Hills (north-west of Toronto). This is the area where Elton John and David Furnish have their Canadian home. It is a beautiful home. If the house itself was not enough to 'amaze', the woman (a divorced Surgeon, Order of Canada) also has an airplane hanger (with two bi-planes), a BEAUTIFUL horse barn (with a lot of nice horsies. I think a few are race-horses, but I'm not sure which ones), an 'exotic bird' farm (with some rare ducks and peacocks. The peacocks reportedly cost $25K+ each. I believe they are also trying to breed some of the rare birds. I will try and get some pictures.), a regular barn (with chickens, pigs, and other beasts), a vineyard, a rare car garage (including this beautiful machine), a guest house (bigger then my current house), and the foreman's house.

It has been quite the 'amazing' day. I gutted a $100,000 bathroom and study combo, because the home-owner wanted something different. I don't even know what to say about this. Absolutely unreal.

The funniest part about all this? When I finally met the lady, guess what she was doing?

Yup.

Sipping a martini and eating caviar.

The Gods are Good.

Blame Peadar

2008-06-17T21:35:34Z

I just went to pickup my copy of "The Inferior" and I ended up buying about four other books. A few of them happen to be Alison Weir books, too. I noticed they were on sale and was inexplicably drawn to them. This seems very fishy. First xraytheenforcer, and now me? I suspect Peadar is league with that smarmy Brit. Are you happy, O'Guilin!? Or should I call you ... ALISON WEIR!!!

Music Monday: In at the Buzzard

2008-06-17T03:47:19Z

Al Di Meola, a jazz-fusion artist, plays Egyptian Danza.

Astor Piazzola's Libertango ... although not performed by A.P. (I think it is Yo Yo Ma)

Joe Namath works for Canada Revenue

2008-06-04T16:10:32Z

I just finished a meeting with an agent of Canada Revenue, who decided it was time to review my GST & Payroll Account. I was surprised to learn that Joe Namath would be my personal Trust Agent. My opinion of him was already bound to be low, considering he works for the government, and for Canada Revenue to boot. But his appearance was a major violation. Seriously dude, button up your shirt. This isn't la dolce vita, as you are a representative of the government. I'm calling a ten-yard penalty against the CRA.

An Artist's Rendition of my Trust Agent

Russia Wins the Eurovision.

2008-05-24T22:32:21Z

There is no God.

I suspect Putin rigged the entire competition. First Eurovision, then the world!

I must now commit ritual suicide, excuse me.

The Best Music You May Never Have Heard ....

2008-05-12T18:24:49Z

"Flash, Bam, Pow,"

That was "Stop" from Super Session. Featuring Mike Bloomfield and Al Kooper.

f you have ever seen The Trip by Roger Corman, and were taken away by the blues-jazz-psychadelic soundtrack, then you may know this band. It was the brainchild of the legendary bluesman, Mike Bloomfield, and known as the The Electric Flag.

The Electric Flag was a short-lived band of Mike Bloomfield, which he formed after his stint with the Paul Butterfield Blues Band. He brought together a collection of some of America's most seasoned musicians, including: Buddy Miles, Harvey Brooks, Barry Goldberg, and Peter Strazza. They made their live debut at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967, but were not included in the documentary that many of us have seen.

Bloomfield sought to combine the traditional Big Band Blues sound with Contemporary Soul, mix in a little country, gospel, and jazz, and slap a horn section on top of it all. This fusion of big band and hard rock, and a pioneering use of horns, predated Blood, Sweat, & Tears and the Chicago Transit Authority. The first studio album, and their only successful one, A Long Time Comin' would be the only work produced by the original lineup.

Drug abuse, clashing of egos, and management disasters tore the band apart. Goldberg and Bloomfield left only a month after the album's release, and despite efforts by Buddy Miles to continue, the band disappeared in 1969. Most of the band went on to become highly influential in the music industry, especially among San Francisco's community of musicians. Buddy Miles would go on to work with Jimi Hendrix, in the Band of Gypsys. Nick Gravenites would become a legend in the San Francisco scene, after working with Big Brother and the Holding Company, and Janis Joplin. Mike Bloomfield himself returned to San Francisco where he scored movies, played sessions and produced other artists.

The seminal work of the Electric Flag, may very well be Super Sessions, which was born out of a nine-hour jam session organized by Al Kooper. He recruited Mike Bloomfield, Barry Goldberg, and Harvey Brooks of the Electric Flag. Even on the eve of the band's breakup, they managed to capture the fusion of American music that was the essence of the Electric Flag. An amalgm of horns, blues, soul, gospel, and rock. After the first day in the studio, Mike Bloomfield abruptly stormed out of the studio after suffering a bout of 'chronic insomnia' brought on by his heroin addiction. Al Kooper hastily called his friend, Stephen Stills, who sat in for Bloomfield on the last three tracks of the album.

The purely instrumental 'Stop' from Super Session is definitely my favorite song. “Killing Floor”, “Wine” and “Over-Lovin' You” are also top quality tunes. I would strongly recommend that all lovers of blues, soul, and jazz music check out the Electric Flag.

Rock On!

2008-05-10T04:37:17Z

Ok so, here goes, I got my party pic up (oh ya!0) and I was just down in Toronto. Me, a friend and his dad (big hippy, Cheech n' Chong style) saw Gordon Lightfoot, and he was awesome. Look, you guys may think that makes me a loser - but you are the losers. Gordon is the MAN. Folk and Hippyness is still the way to do it. I wishh I had some burkenstocks, cause I wuld have worn them. Even in all the trendy bars. If any posers asked me where my shoes were, I'd be like "step off, fascist!". I nearly had a stroke when he played Edmund Fitzgerald. Fuckin' boss!!. Could have been the dope tho. Maybe I had a stroke, but the I transcended it through drugs. Woh!

We hit up a few bars afterwards, and his dad totally sharked a bunch of posers in Darts. Little did they know he is a ranked Darts PLayer, hahaha! Way too funny. One guys was so pissed of, and was not going to pay his bet. But when an old hippy with long hair, a Don Ho shirt, bellbottoms, and a sandals calls you out, you better run! Hippys don't fight! They usually get beaten by cops because they are all non-violence and shit. You know, with hunger strikes and sits in. But this Cheech was ready to pound him, and he was totally confused. So he paid up. His dad never followed us to the next bar, and he went home.

A few bar observations...

1) Everyone way older than me.
2) Douchebags are numerous
3) Skanks are numerous.
4) Red Bull and Vodka still tastes good.
5) Ladies with boobs did not get served first. There seemed to be a line instead. Which is lucky, because I don't have boobs

around this time in the nite (who knows) i got into a conversation with some lady who was trying to explain how my wallet was my spear (???), and in order to hunt my prey (skanks) I must deploy my spear. It was pretty fucked up. I may have been tripping, but my wallet still didn't look like a spear. It looked like a wallet. I told her this, and she started going off about how I basically just said I don't want to procreate with her. What the fuck? Procreation? Listen EVE, i'm not ADAM and the human race is not dying out. i basically ran to the bathroom before she mickeyed my drink and kidnapped me. for a while I thought she was following me. i'll have to do a double check later for my kidneys.

Later I had an awesome discussion and I'm writing it here for postiey. I don't know who I had it with, but I want to remember it so I need to write it down and cna't find as pen. Which is weird because I usually have lots of those things.

It was about how men are the way we are because we evolved to be good at killing shit. Being good at killing shit takes a lot of focus, so when men ignore women, it is because we are focused on not getting killed. We evolved like this and it destroyed our ability to notice subtle clues given by females. We don't understand those little hints because most of our brain power is geared towards killing shit and trying not to get killed by shit. Sometimes we have time for procreation. We llove gadgets and new toys because we love stuff that helps us kill shit. When i'm playing Resident Evil, i'm busy with the hunt and you won't be able to grab my attention because my brain is focused on killing shit without getting killed. So basically, all we like to do is kill shit and build stuff to kill shit. Simple, right? Killing shit can be a metaphor was anything. Trading stocks could be killing shit. Or whatever, I don't even know what the hell else.

Wait, I started talking about Gordon Lightfoot. Woh, tangent. Lightfoot and Killing Shit don't reall go together. NOT AT ALL. The world should be about hippy peace and equal rights, and not killing shit. Its like Eve and her wallet spear. We are equals, and must all pay for our drinks. If men are the only ones paying, then were just perpeting the streotypes and keeping women as slaves. No way am I going to do that. Fuck that lady and her wallet spear. I hope she chokes on her dildo.

I'm ramblin on (haha!) so I'll end.

I struck gold! Yeeeehaw!

2008-05-09T00:07:10Z

Today was the best trip to the gas station, ever! This morning the Canadian Tire in town had gas posted at 69 cents / liter. That is half price, which is Incredible! I have no idea why it was so cheap and I don't care. My truck guzzles gas like Hunter S. Thompson guzzled whiskey. She's always in need of a fix.

I quickly drove over to my storage yard, fired up the skid-steer and loaded my truck with 55-gallon drums (holds 200 litres, or 44 Imperial Gallons). I managed to fit 5 of them in the bed of the truck with the tailgate down. I nearly scrapped the whole plan when I realized I had no idea how much 1,000 litres of gasoline would weigh. I figured it would be between 900 - 1000 kg. I think gasoline weighs about 900 g/l? Either way, that would be a couple hundred kilos overloaded.

After all this fretting about weight limits and mathematics, I said 'screw it', since I was totally seduced by the price. I put all my trust in the beefy frame, axle, bearings and leaf springs. If it was too much weight then It would turn into one expensive day. In hindsight, it was a really stupid and impulsive decision.

I live close to the station and it was still relatively non-busy when I returned. I must have been filling up for over a hour, but in the end it was totally worth it. I don't think I'll be needing to fill up for the rest of the year. Hundreds of dollars in savings! Amazing!

I knew when I found those drums they would come in handy one day!

My Salute to Safety

2008-05-07T18:15:12Z

After spending 6 hours of the morning among the most incompetent workers in the world, I realize now why my people are totally stereotyped. We are mostly just a bunch of retards who pretend to know what we are doing. When you are in a dangerous situation, you don't have more than one person giving orders. Ever. Sorry, but it is fuckin' stupid. When you are working with a gigantic crane that is transporting hundreds of pounds ABOVE YOUR HEADS, you need to be like ... organized? experienced? intelligent? I guess that is too much to ask. Luckily, the Chief took my advice on bracing the roof. It is supposed to be really windy tonight and I believe it would have fallen down otherwise.

Thank God it started to rain.

In honor of today's idiots, behold!

Stop Objectifying Me!

2008-05-06T19:26:37Z

Now you know what I have to put up with all day.

Women.

Limecat is not Pleased

2008-05-06T03:24:59Z

I am not pleased with this theme. Something must be done. Unfortunately I am not creative enough to edit it and must cycle through the hundreds of premade themes. What a bloody chore!~ In better news, I went to Home Depot today and managed to not act like a dick. Yay me!